I love my naps

in sunny

blank space rooms,

on quiet

no rush

days.

 

This new path

I chose

leads me

here,

allows this.

This breathing space.

This sacred rest.

This surrender.

 

Cause that’s what it is.

It’s anti-productivity

to lie

around

asleep

for an hour

or two

and do

nothing.

 

I’m getting better at this,

doing nothing.

Now I gloat over it

in my mind

to myself.

Revel in it

when it comes

each week

at the end

when I’m stretched thin

and need to just

do nothing.

 

Hours ahead

that I used to rush

to fill,

fast,

I look at unafraid.

Instead, I get to ask,

“What should we do now, God?”

Cause it’s just me and Him

and lots of nothing,

and lots of something,

If we want

or not.

 

 

“Let’s finish that book…”

“Let’s write. You have to. It’s aching inside and has to get out…”

“Let’s walk. Just to the mailbox…maybe farther…”

 

“Let’s take a nap…”

When did I lay down?

How long has it been?

I don’t know the time

cause time doesn’t dictate

these days

and my phone doesn’t follow me,

remind me,

constantly,

of time.

 

Time loses its value

cause there is an abundance of it.

And I’m finally getting better

at wasting it.

 

 

I love that moment

when I become conscious

that I’m in bed,

that I’ve been asleep,

that it’s daylight

and the sun

has shifted the shadows

in the blank space room,

and I’m waking up

but I could slip

the other way,

back into sleep,

if I wanted,

if I were given permission,

and Jesus whispers,

“5 more minutes”

and gives me permission

to go the other way.